Yoshi’s Noteboard 2.0
Write About NowArchive for February, 2009
Of Demons and Prayer
Waking sleep... chase, chase, chase them out!
I have been troubled by my own lack of prayer, having been entrusted with it by the Lord to uphold the people around me fervently. I know and have seen its effectiveness, but I struggle to maintain my committment.
Last night I awoke from a dream, where I and a group of others were assailed by moaning demons/spirits. While we tried to run for cover (fat lot of good that does), a few of them leapt over and latched themselves firmly to our heads. They were small sized, but vicious. As they sunk their invisible claws into our minds, binding in fear and confusion, we struggled in vain to extricate them. I woke up on full alert.
It was 4.21 am. As I began praying without reserve, the Lord released the strangleholds and began breaking the ties. My mind began to clear and I continued to pray for all those within thinking distance. Strength and normalcy soothed me back to sleep.
If the Lord ever wakes you up in the middle of the night alarmed and disturbed, pray. Pray for your friends, your neighbours, your country.
Can nothing be something?
Easy
Valentine’s Day was uneventful, but fun. Spent the morning and early afternoon going through with my sis some points on “The Art of Meaning”- trying to define art for what it is, and how it contributes towards meaning. Then in the afternoon, met up with an old friend, Cheng Wee:
Housemates in da 'hood... breakfast taken in 2005, Cheng Wee standing. Cool guy, cool hair.
The evening was spent in YF. We had a blast: games, writing whacked out love letters, etc. Jit shared a short message on love and keeping one’s heart pure; and the place was done up swimmingly by Josie and her team. Even the songs were apt (Well done everyone!).
Medium
Even as I have been mulling over the progress of various ‘ministries’- one consistent event is recurring: that we are under some kind of ‘dampening influence’, both as individuals and as groups. And I am starting to ponder on the (lack of) progress of some of the Kluang youth. There has been breakthroughs in some lives, but others have either stagnated or diminished in fervour/understanding/insight. This is distressing when there is so much more ground to cover, and I wonder whether their faith will hold up when the tide of darkness covers all.
I myself struggle to “keep in step with the Spirit“, but I am being reminded of the importance of putting love into every action. This means pausing to know, understand and celebrate the people around me, who they are becoming and who they have become. This may also mean accepting the possibilities of independent thinking, even if it means foregone conclusions of failure, or so I think lah. But love can also open one’s mind to deeper and wider things.
In the Zone
Complacency, disobedience and unaccountability are recurring sins. Although certain other ‘elemental spirits’ are more neutralized, other ’sins of omission’ are equally damaging to one’s spiritual growth. I have been finding it hard to focus, and have not been praying enough. There are improvements in other areas- time management, awareness and reading. But a nagging issue still remains. Baby, I need to go kite-flying.
When you step out
and move beyond the shadows of leaving
A void of clear crystal
envelopes my mistaken longings
There is no way to know for certain
Whether you will ever return
As a guest or as a light bearer
For the days are shrouded with questions without conclusions
And as the hours grow longer
and the growing darkness reminds me of a distant call
The memories of failure are my only companions
On a road with no followers
Fell me and leave me to wander.
Belligerence Begins Again
During devotions yesterday, among many things learnt was: “The one who lives alone is self-indulgent, showing contempt for all who have sound judgement.” (Prov 18:1, NRSV) Which struck a chord, since I like being alone, and realized that many a recluse was self-indulgent, myself included.
Another verse which got me was, “Desire without knowledge is not good, and one who moves too hurriedly misses the way.” (Prov 19:2, NRSV) Resonated because I was just nursing a defeat at basketball where I lost the game because I was too nervous- couldn’t get my shots right- and also the considerations of leadership and moving through unchartered waters. More knowledge and insight is needed.
Israel votes today... pic courtesy of Rina Castelnuovo for The New York Times
Interesting article written by an Israeli on the recent war in Gaza, and how Israel will vote in their elections this afternoon. Click on picture for news report on the elections.
Khairy at an UMNO meeting in 2007. He required that all UMNO Youth do the same at such meetings, or be riskedbeing labelled as traitors to their race. Click on image for news article.
Even in Perak, a timely reminder that Khairy is still stoking racial sentiments, as the Little Napoleons begin to strut their plummage afresh.
Perak’s Unconstitutional Crisis
Although this post belongs in the ‘Malaysian Issues’ Page (see ‘Other Pages on the Noteboard’), it is a matter that has been on my mind alot lately.
1. See a few technical (read: legal) explanations on the matter by respected lawyer Malik Imtiaz Sarwar.
a) Making Sense of the Perak Controversy
b) An Unconstitutional Crisis
At the moment, while the Pakatan Rakyat bring this matter to the courts, let us watch and pray.
Bantah... On the 6th of Feb, many families came out to protest the decision of the Sultan. The PR have asked for calm.
On love and marriage
Being anal and/or constipated can sometimes describe a relationship. Don't ask me how.
One of the greatest things that annoy me about people who just get together is the fact that they want everyone else who is single to be like them, or to feel their joy. I think its quite nice and kind but I guess I’m still a bit too overly touchy about statements like, “don’t wait too long ya,” and “see what a relationship can do for you?” I know I’m not strong enough to deflect everything in a nice and courteous manner, but so far I’ve been surviving.
All the facts (except one, which I will list below) show to me that a relationship only means trouble. First, you get emotional instability. Second, you have to spend spend spend unnecessarily, just so that the other can return ‘love’ (time is also a commodity) and third, there is no guarantee that all this hassle will work out, and it may not be your fault at all! So, what is the whole point of having to get together? (don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe in the whole ‘casual dating’ or ‘casual relationships’ thing either, which is much worse than even getting into one)
However, the only thing that keeps my mind open towards developing a long term relationship in view of marriage is the possibility of character building. I know my pride needs alot of humbling, and I also know (for a fact) that marriage is one of the best crucibles for something as deep and far-reaching as this. It would teach me how to accomodate, be more patient (both with her and myself) and to learn how to be more sensitive, qualities which are good and necessary that I believe will help me in understanding others better. “What about love?” someone asked. For now, I think love is a choice. (and most of my choices have been denied. Blame it on my lack of sensitivity to the other’s needs/situation)
And so, even as I sit here and refuse to budge at all the ‘well-meaning recommendations’ of my friends, I pray that God will grant me the patience and serenity to wait for the right time. Because I believe that is the first place to learn about love.
