I’m being reminded again and again over the last few months how weak and incorrigible I am. I cannot stop myself sinning when I want to, I find pride so entrenched just when I think I’ve reached new depths of humility.

I still work so slowly, and am so inefficient with the time I’ve been given. But each day comes as a gift, and no other time in my life have I been grateful for each breath, each step. And as I rejoice in each smile, hug and embrace of the Lord, I know the meaning of my life is found not in what I can do or have done, but in who I am becoming.

Perhaps true obedience is not as easy as some people make it seem to be. I have yet to learn that lesson.

The Christian walk consists of simple faith. Obedience sums up the entire experience. If we do not know how to walk with Him, if we are careless, we miss the Way and then wonder why our lives end up the way they do. If you don’t want that happening, choose faith. Seek to obey the little things that you are called to do. Its not easy, but it is not as hard as we think either.

And whatever happens, though He slay us, let us still praise Him.

Northern Light... The call to gather and pray has been sounded from Alor Setar. Will you go and lend your support?

This is the third national-level Malaysian Youth Prayer Gathering that is being held since the first one that happened on the 19th July 2008. The second was held in Kuantan.

MYPG is a youth-initiated prayer work that seeks to “redefine the VALUES of an entire generation”, and by calling all young (and not so young) to meet and pray, it aims to see Malaysian Christians transformed, empowered and enabled to move and run based on Kingdom thinking.

If you are as crazy as some of us monkeys, see you in ALOR SETAR!

Also see http://mypg.wordpress.com for more info.

Click below for the PROMO video (apologies for poor sound quality).

Today marked another dark day in Malaysian politics.

The ‘powers that be’- namely those who want to remain in power- have resorted to ‘all means necessary’ to undermind the decisions and lawful procedures set into motion by law makers in the Perak State Assembly. And now, as news of this goes out (please do not believe everything you read in the local papers), I think the imperative to request for fairness and righteousness and justice rests on the Church to define and speak out against what is untrue, unlawful and unjust.

Can this be the way we run our country?

I’ve never trained formally as a basketball player, although sometimes I wish I had. I find I still fumble at my fundamentals, after all these years. Sometimes I get to play, sometimes not… especially when the conditions are not right. And since my early days, when my many efforts saw missed shots and devastating disappointments, I have since honed my skills and developed accuracy, confidence and team awareness.

But, I realize a yawning lack still, and try as I might, I know there are many things that I still have not trained for. My footwork is erroneous and my passing too predictable. I get too tense under pressure. My game style is too boring.

I am super gung ho for the game right now, but I have also learnt not to be too hung up on it either, and risk fouling out the joy. When my fear of  failure makes another pass at me, I freeze. So I’m learning to relax and take the plays as they come, although I’m still missing baskets, losing games. 

But today, I will reach for the ball again and begin anew.

[ps. This post isn't about basketball.]

“Train up a fig tree in the way it should go, and when you are old sit under the shade of it.” Charles Dickens.

The heart’s desire for anyone/everyone involved with molding lives and shaping character.

Ok. The Lord told me to blog. Yeah, He’s cool. He got me into basketball, jogging, foosball, and Kluang and writing and…

 I’ve been holding a few ideas in my head since the last time I wrote about being fleeced in my greek exam. And turns out that even the greek sentence I constructed was grammatically WRONG. Wakakakaka…

But, aside the frustrations at not being able to SCORE at Greek (which keeps me humble), and having to deal with my terrible work ethic, I am having farn.

I had a good game of basketball on Wednesday. Won two of the full-court games comfortably, with different scratch teams. (And I’m quite pleased at the success of the strategy change and the practices of lay-ups done the day before.)

I’m making progress on my Romans paper, but too slowly (for my own good). Will be going to Melaka this weekend, God willing, for food (ugh), Scrabble and fellowship, which although ‘relaxing’, will mean less time for work.  I have one more month to finish all remaining papers. Things look a little better than they were last year at this time, but I’m still behind in most things. However, I am happy to say that I’ve been so much more punctual (if not early) for my appointments, which bodes well for consideration of other ’self-development’ initiatives.

In short, I’m still enjoying life. And although I still feel I could know more Scripture, be more caring, or more efficient in the way I do stuff and handle my time, I know that pleasing God lies not in the future, but in the calm assurance of His pleasure and acceptance in the day to day. And His burdens have not been heavy.

Frustration... "My Greek is bad."

1. Was fleeced today in Greek exam. I know I could have done better, but got bogged down with locating the meanings and then realised I did not have enough time for my final section. *sobs* Just when I was starting to understand things…

2. Earth hour: Why turn off lights when you can turn off air-conditioners? I’m still skimping plastic bags, paper and unnecessary trips to the washing machine.

3.  STM condition: It has been raining a bit recently. Everyone is overcome with work: some even missing chapel to sleep, or were too sick to get out of bed, or just plain ’studious’. Missing chapel to study?

4.  UMNO elections: KJ and Sharizat are in. I’ve heard rumours that this season marks the beginning of a dark age for non-Muslims in the country. Hmmm…

5. Working on an assignment to be handed up tomorrow. Studying the lives of Martin Luther King, Sunday Adelaja and Mother Teresa, but I lament my slow progress. To all the studious students out there, all z best and keep up the slogging. One day, all of this will be worth the while. Just don’t return everything to your teacher.

I’m glad that most people misunderstand me. It gives me the opportunity to be creative and unpredictable. It also gives me the added option of turning an unexpected broadside on unwitting trouble-makers. The joy of seeing their faces- the jaws dropping, the angry eyes and the furrowing of the brow; I think that is enough to make my day. “I can’t believe Yoshua could have said that!” whether it was for good or for bad.

I’m not as ‘holy’ or ‘godly’ as some people perceive me to be. Nor am I as perverted or hypocritical as others might believe. I can remain invisible and insoluble to most, as you will only know me based on how much I divulge.

As most would know, things are not that complicated. Or are they?

Come on... You can't expect me to buy into your whole Absolute Truth rhubarb?

Some people argue that there are no absolute truths. There is no such thing as an absolute Right or an absolute Wrong. Let’s look at some ‘aggressive’ applications of this concept:

1. Imagine a day when students can answer technical subjects like Mathematics or Physics with whichever answer that they think is correct (including wonderfully subjective answers), and that the teachers will still have to give them an ‘A’? Think metaphysics, man.

2. That there is no such thing as Law and Order, since people can do as they think is best- what I feel is right is right; whereas what You feel is right,  etc. Since humankind has the ability to reason and to think rationally, why should we be subject to illogical laws or things which we think are impossible to believe because we can’t see/hear/touch/smell it?

3. Incest, murder, rape, abortion and torture will not be ‘morally’ wrong, since man determines what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, therefore, if given the circumstances, these ‘crimes’ are no longer ‘crimes’, but ‘accidents’ or symptoms of psychological dysfunction, and all we need is a little rehabilitation. Victims? Life’s unfair. Get over it.

4. No one can charge me for anything. No one SHOULD charge for anything that I do, say or THINK, since I am my own judge and set my own rules. Whoever said that I should be bound to anyone’s self-imposed laws. Why should I listen to what you have to say or expect me to do? Even if you are very knowledgeable on the subject, who cares? Your voice/face annoys me. 

5. A man can marry an elephant; a woman can have multiple live-in partners with dogs, cats, or any other animal. What’s so wrong about ‘loving the animals’? Its just a matter of getting used to, that’s all.

6. The environment is neutral. It can be destroyed. Or not. Up to you lah. 

7. Do as you like. Do as you please. And no one can/should say anything against that.

From a Christian perspective, it is the Church that has failed in its role to show society what Truth really is. So in a way, we cannot blame people for thinking and believing in the way they do. God, have mercy on our saltless Church.