Yoshi’s Noteboard 2.0
Write About NowSmitten
Only one word comes to mind... the calm before the storm.
The cries of ‘Holy, Holy’ remind me of the cherubim encircling the Great Throne, and my spirit quickens. My hairs are standing on edge.
My being resonates with the worship resounding in the heavens, where lightning and thunder arc to glory and majesty incomparable.
As the storm begins to swirl on this boat of simple makeup, I look past the rain that will flood my tear-dried face. Everything will fade- my dryness, my anger, my anxiety and my petty worries. My boat will fill with water from the waves and will probably sink.
But how can I refuse the voice, “Come…” ?
Twenty Nine Years of His Faithfulness
On this day of all days, when an insignificant event made its way into the subconscious of a few score individuals and wonderful people of this blessed earth; the intentions in the heart of The Supreme Being became hidden, encapsulated in the tiny sinews of understandings that make up the fabric of this lesser being, which when fully formed in Christ, would never cease to bring Him the highest praise, seeking not its own glory, but to the One whom created the Heavens and Earth, that it may in some small way contribute to the chorus of glory that ascends to the Throne in daily worship.
Thank you... to those who contributed to the Wings of Yoshua, my deepest gratitude! You will see its use in days to come .
To the rest who sent sms-es and greetings, I know the responsibility of living brings with it its own hazards, but one can live hazard-ful and yet bring about greater good. May the Most High be glorified in all our futile efforts. Amen.
Historic Fight for Democracy Under a Rain Tree (3/3/09)
Man of the moment...The Speaker, Sivakumar, in full ceremonial garb. Click on photo for link to news article.
The Pakatan Rakyat Members of Parliament went ahead with an emergency sitting of the State Assembly, called by the Speaker Sivakumar and by the powers vested in the decision, the ‘ousted’ MB, Nizar, will now proceed to make another appeal to the Sultan of Perak to dissolve the State Assembly and to call for state-wide elections.
Tree that made history... the site of the State Assembly. Photo courtesy of anilnetto.com. Click on picture to go there.
See also the following links for onsite/live updates for this morning:
Malaysia Today
http://delcapo.wordpress.com
The Nut Graph: Perak Crisis Deepens
Life in STM
STM Student Council 2009... The Dream Team
The Bible College that I spend 80% of my time during the week is a representative microcosm that reflects the Malaysian Church in all its flawed glory. There is the clannish Chinese communities- fragmented, loud and critical; the indifferent and individualistic English-speaking Chinese; the ‘neglected’ and ‘marginalized’ Indian ‘minority’; the local bumiputra students that lend much mirth to our dreary and kiasu-istic lifestyles; and the foreign students, who remind us of a growing immigrant population in the country and its crying needs.
Inseparable...My former roomie (Jegadass) and me. Peas in a pod.
I believe this larger, more intricate family must be brought to a love-centered balance, not by sheer reason, persuasion or charisma, but by prayer and quiet trust alone. No amount of talk (and I have had heard alot of it since coming in to STM) will bring men and women together in harmony of purpose. Some quarters complain that the students are not mentored or discipled by the lecturers enough. In some sense it is true, but I prefer to seek for alternatives, rather than wait for the proverbial moon to turn blue. In the same way, I feel that the seniors should play a bigger role in mentoring and assisting the juniors. (And I guess I could complain that we have not been discipled and mentored enough!) However, after a year here, I have learnt to adapt and get my input elsewhere.
Growing up... the sophomores y'all!
But for the juniors under me, I have been seeking after a way to allow my current year to be more pro-active towards welcoming the freshies. So far, there has not been a concerted effort to reach out to them- much like what happened to my year- but I hope this will not be a norm in the days to come. May we learn what it means to love with greater sincerity.
Myself included.
Of Demons and Prayer
Waking sleep... chase, chase, chase them out!
I have been troubled by my own lack of prayer, having been entrusted with it by the Lord to uphold the people around me fervently. I know and have seen its effectiveness, but I struggle to maintain my committment.
Last night I awoke from a dream, where I and a group of others were assailed by moaning demons/spirits. While we tried to run for cover (fat lot of good that does), a few of them leapt over and latched themselves firmly to our heads. They were small sized, but vicious. As they sunk their invisible claws into our minds, binding in fear and confusion, we struggled in vain to extricate them. I woke up on full alert.
It was 4.21 am. As I began praying without reserve, the Lord released the strangleholds and began breaking the ties. My mind began to clear and I continued to pray for all those within thinking distance. Strength and normalcy soothed me back to sleep.
If the Lord ever wakes you up in the middle of the night alarmed and disturbed, pray. Pray for your friends, your neighbours, your country.
Can nothing be something?
Easy
Valentine’s Day was uneventful, but fun. Spent the morning and early afternoon going through with my sis some points on “The Art of Meaning”- trying to define art for what it is, and how it contributes towards meaning. Then in the afternoon, met up with an old friend, Cheng Wee:
Housemates in da 'hood... breakfast taken in 2005, Cheng Wee standing. Cool guy, cool hair.
The evening was spent in YF. We had a blast: games, writing whacked out love letters, etc. Jit shared a short message on love and keeping one’s heart pure; and the place was done up swimmingly by Josie and her team. Even the songs were apt (Well done everyone!).
Medium
Even as I have been mulling over the progress of various ‘ministries’- one consistent event is recurring: that we are under some kind of ‘dampening influence’, both as individuals and as groups. And I am starting to ponder on the (lack of) progress of some of the Kluang youth. There has been breakthroughs in some lives, but others have either stagnated or diminished in fervour/understanding/insight. This is distressing when there is so much more ground to cover, and I wonder whether their faith will hold up when the tide of darkness covers all.
I myself struggle to “keep in step with the Spirit“, but I am being reminded of the importance of putting love into every action. This means pausing to know, understand and celebrate the people around me, who they are becoming and who they have become. This may also mean accepting the possibilities of independent thinking, even if it means foregone conclusions of failure, or so I think lah. But love can also open one’s mind to deeper and wider things.
In the Zone
Complacency, disobedience and unaccountability are recurring sins. Although certain other ‘elemental spirits’ are more neutralized, other ’sins of omission’ are equally damaging to one’s spiritual growth. I have been finding it hard to focus, and have not been praying enough. There are improvements in other areas- time management, awareness and reading. But a nagging issue still remains. Baby, I need to go kite-flying.
When you step out
and move beyond the shadows of leaving
A void of clear crystal
envelopes my mistaken longings
There is no way to know for certain
Whether you will ever return
As a guest or as a light bearer
For the days are shrouded with questions without conclusions
And as the hours grow longer
and the growing darkness reminds me of a distant call
The memories of failure are my only companions
On a road with no followers
Fell me and leave me to wander.
Belligerence Begins Again
During devotions yesterday, among many things learnt was: “The one who lives alone is self-indulgent, showing contempt for all who have sound judgement.” (Prov 18:1, NRSV) Which struck a chord, since I like being alone, and realized that many a recluse was self-indulgent, myself included.
Another verse which got me was, “Desire without knowledge is not good, and one who moves too hurriedly misses the way.” (Prov 19:2, NRSV) Resonated because I was just nursing a defeat at basketball where I lost the game because I was too nervous- couldn’t get my shots right- and also the considerations of leadership and moving through unchartered waters. More knowledge and insight is needed.
Israel votes today... pic courtesy of Rina Castelnuovo for The New York Times
Interesting article written by an Israeli on the recent war in Gaza, and how Israel will vote in their elections this afternoon. Click on picture for news report on the elections.
Khairy at an UMNO meeting in 2007. He required that all UMNO Youth do the same at such meetings, or be riskedbeing labelled as traitors to their race. Click on image for news article.
Even in Perak, a timely reminder that Khairy is still stoking racial sentiments, as the Little Napoleons begin to strut their plummage afresh.
Perak’s Unconstitutional Crisis
Although this post belongs in the ‘Malaysian Issues’ Page (see ‘Other Pages on the Noteboard’), it is a matter that has been on my mind alot lately.
1. See a few technical (read: legal) explanations on the matter by respected lawyer Malik Imtiaz Sarwar.
a) Making Sense of the Perak Controversy
b) An Unconstitutional Crisis
At the moment, while the Pakatan Rakyat bring this matter to the courts, let us watch and pray.
Bantah... On the 6th of Feb, many families came out to protest the decision of the Sultan. The PR have asked for calm.
On love and marriage
Being anal and/or constipated can sometimes describe a relationship. Don't ask me how.
One of the greatest things that annoy me about people who just get together is the fact that they want everyone else who is single to be like them, or to feel their joy. I think its quite nice and kind but I guess I’m still a bit too overly touchy about statements like, “don’t wait too long ya,” and “see what a relationship can do for you?” I know I’m not strong enough to deflect everything in a nice and courteous manner, but so far I’ve been surviving.
All the facts (except one, which I will list below) show to me that a relationship only means trouble. First, you get emotional instability. Second, you have to spend spend spend unnecessarily, just so that the other can return ‘love’ (time is also a commodity) and third, there is no guarantee that all this hassle will work out, and it may not be your fault at all! So, what is the whole point of having to get together? (don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe in the whole ‘casual dating’ or ‘casual relationships’ thing either, which is much worse than even getting into one)
However, the only thing that keeps my mind open towards developing a long term relationship in view of marriage is the possibility of character building. I know my pride needs alot of humbling, and I also know (for a fact) that marriage is one of the best crucibles for something as deep and far-reaching as this. It would teach me how to accomodate, be more patient (both with her and myself) and to learn how to be more sensitive, qualities which are good and necessary that I believe will help me in understanding others better. “What about love?” someone asked. For now, I think love is a choice. (and most of my choices have been denied. Blame it on my lack of sensitivity to the other’s needs/situation)
And so, even as I sit here and refuse to budge at all the ‘well-meaning recommendations’ of my friends, I pray that God will grant me the patience and serenity to wait for the right time. Because I believe that is the first place to learn about love.
CNY Apathy
Sometimes in the milieu of meaninglessness, a shrink is called for...
I’ve been having a nice and sombre little Chinese New Year this year. Like Christmas and New Year’s Day, where I spent a large portion of my time indoors (the happies), this CNY was spent with friends and family, traversing stops to collect more ang pows and renewing the bonds of friendship that should never be broken.
Through such a brief excursis, I have learnt that I am still a recluse at heart, an introvert that has learnt how to fit in to a noise-needing crowd, and being able to more adequately decrease my daily output of words to preserve sanity, both internally and externally. It has been quite fruitful so far.
School starts on Thursday, and then I travel down to Kluang again to begin lectures to the YF on Romans, which I am eagerly looking forward to. (how do you explain the concept of justification to 13 year olds?) Will see how they take it all in. I’ve got tonnes of preparation work (not including promises of forthcoming work, and mountains of wonderful books to read) and here I am using the MacBook Pro to lighten up.
Anyway, as an aside, here is a cute little quote I came across that I would like include as a lament to some ‘intellectual’ people I know:
“If the intelligentsia want to make a contribution to society, they must first understand what kind of society they live in. By society, of course, I do not mean the high society of snobs and socialites, but of people at grass-root level: how they live, how they work, what they do in their leisure time, what they think of the world, their hopes, their fears and aspirations… because the intelligentsia are puzzled over the nature of the society they live in, such views as they express from time to time relate to abstract principles in “vacuo”. Goh Keng Swee, 1967.
